My darkest moment was when I found myself so trapped in a mental box (of my own making) that I was unable to even speak.
How ironic, that me, someone who uses their voice all the time, be it to lead teams at work or to give interviews or speeches or coach people – when I was behind closed doors I couldn’t face myself.
It had started out that when I’d say something, it was struck down as incorrect somehow (not in a let “s debate type of way, but a “you’re wrong you stupid idiot” way). Over the years, that chipped away at my psyche until my lips felt like heavy weights – it was a Herculean task to open my mouth at all.
It’s absolutely true that every negative thing that you hear builds up in your mind and hits you like a brick the older you get – like an albatross around your neck. For me, it was “you’ll never be the best”, “you’re not conventionally pretty”, “you’re too fat”, “you’re too short”, “you don’t explain things deep enough” and on and on and on… and one day I just froze.
I couldn’t take any more but couldn’t move or speak or dig myself out, either.
Thankfully, I’m surrounded by a lovely support network of friends and coaches who helped me find my voice again.
When I think on how I let myself get there, and how easily I could slip back into it, it makes me shudder.
Originally Posted: https://www.quora.com/What-was-your-darkest-moment
Originally Posted On: 2016-09-14