My mother, barring a very (very) few specialty items, could not cook.
It was not merely a question of we “did not like” her food, it was in the realm of “cruel and unusual punishment.”
In the interest of self preservation, my sister and I came up with (what we thought) were ingenious ways to hide the food so we could leave the dinner table as quickly as possible and then would sneak back down later to cook something edible for ourselves.)
One such dish was pork chops. My mother’s pork chops came out a sort of grayish-green color, and were a chunk of solid rectangular meat that was as tough as shoe leather.
My sister and I would dutifully take our steak knives and start cutting these up into tiny Squares, Pick them up with our fingers, and then reach toward our mouth, then pretend to chew. On the “return to the plate”, we’d stuff them under the seat cushion.
We did this for YEARS. Every dinner.
The only thing I could never manage to hide was spinach. That cold, gelatinous green unappetizing lump of frozen goo. It gives me nightmares still.
We’d try to remember to clean out the food later, but the grease from the food would soak into the cushions.
During the day, our cats would sit on those cushions and would not leave them. They were the most fur-covered furniture in the house.
I told my husband about this before he met my parents for the first time. The first thing he did was go check out the “famous” cushions. Sure enough, underneath there were still some petrified chunks of meat attached to the bottom that we’d missed from all those years ago.
And the cushions were still covered in fur.
Originally Posted: https://www.quora.com/As-a-child-how-did-you-hide-food-you-did-not-like-at-the-dinner-table
Originally Posted On: 2016-02-05