Yes. Yes. GOD yes.
I’ve always been a happy child. I had that going for me. When I was a kid, I always had a smile on my face. Although, most people didn’t see it because they wouldn’t spend the time looking at me in the first place, what with the terrible hair, the awful clothes and glasses, wretched teeth and awkward gait.
Here, you can see me on the left:
It wasn “t that people mocked me mercilessly or anything – although I did have some of that, it wasn’t really any more than any of the other children.
No, it was worse.
I was *ignored.*
I became invisible.
People paid absolutely no attention to me physically. AT ALL.
I would be in study groups, and no one would make eye contact – they’d talk to me like I was a disembodied voice. I’d have conversations with people and they’d be sort of surprised I was actually there.
This wasn’t just my peers – it was my teachers, my parents, my family, almost everyone.
The only ones who didn’t treat me this way were my closest friends growing up, who were a fairly solid core crew throughout.
It was actually so bad though that we would often talk about how broken we were – what was wrong with us that no one even bothered to notice us?
We could do anything we wanted and no one cared.
Why didn “t they care?
We started getting more reckless.
One of my friends started smoking. (Her parents didn “t notice.) It eventually turned to drugs. The heavy kind. We had to leave her for her new friends.
Another started stealing stuff. She never got caught, no matter what she had. She started getting more and more obvious (so we all thought) and still not so much as a glance from the parents. Huh.
Another of my friends turned to sex – she started getting her first pregnancy scares by the time she was 14. I know way too much about the different ways someone can force herself to have a miscarriage if the condom breaks – because how on earth can a 14 year old possibly get birth control? You can “t.
For my part, I avoided drugs and alcohol, but became a daredevil. No experience was too much for me. I would climb on rotted train bridges, go through abandoned buildings, walk through dark alleys alone at night, date dangerous guys (the more dangerous the better) – major attention grab.
And for all 4 of us, we still had the common thread that no one noticed. Not once. Not anything. No one saw any of it, except each other, and we were only feeding each other “s pain.
And then I got a modem, and found IRC and BBS “s. I didn’t need a body there, and it felt more comfortable somehow. I spent as many hours as I could spare living in the computer.
I found other people like me – people who hadn “t been seen before. They were all smart and friendly and funny and supportive and they were overall awesome. We could talk and talk and talk for hours about everything and nothing.
And when we would meet in person at local diners or other events, we would make eye contact. For the first time in many of our lives, we found people who could *see* us, and how beautiful we each were.
There was no destruction necessary.
From then on, I lived a hybrid life. I ditched the glasses, got better hair, fixed the teeth and (mostly) walk better too.
I have a smile that people tell me is beautiful, because they see me.
And that’s what it feels like to go from ugly to beautiful in one lifetime.
Originally Posted: https://www.quora.com/Have-you-been-considered-both-ugly-and-beautiful-at-different-times-in-your-life-How-has-the-way-people-treat-you-changed
Originally Posted On: 2016-06-18